On top of the kitchen island they are perched, looking at me with intent. We are having a stare down and so far, I'm winning. I'm just so tired today, that I don't even have the energy to stand up, walk five feet, and grab a handful of peanut butter M&M's, which happen to be my favorite candy in the whole wide world.
Is anyone else tired today?
Yesterday, I woke to the news (as we all did) of another mass shooting in the U.S. I waited to hear from my longest-time friend if she had gotten home safely, since she was in Vegas for the weekend. I praised God that she was safe. I cried out to Him that so many others were not. My underlying mood for the day had been set as an upset and it lingered there all day, causing me to be short with my kids, irrational in my thoughts, harsh with my tone, and generally irritated at life.
Late afternoon, I received some heartbreaking, "Why?! asking" news from a friend, that made my heart wrench. Pile on top of that the fact that I just had my second carpal tunnel surgery on Friday, the dull, nagging pain from the incision, and the general inability to do anything that requires two hands and I was just a pile of piles.
Today I woke up after a good night of sleep, which I was grateful for! Aphia made a comment about how I can sleep through anything. She was right. Jeremiah said, "Yep, you slept through me waking up at 3:00 a.m. to check the sump pump after all the rain. You slept through me finding that it was working fine. You slept through me walking to the opposite corner of the basement to step in a slush of water. You slept through me vacuuming up 3 gallons of water, turning on the dehumidifier, and the fan." My jaw dropped as I said, "Seriously?! Of course, it wouldn't be carpal tunnel surgery if we didn't have water in the basement!" {side note: The day after my first carpal tunnel surgery last summer we found our ENTIRE basement under water after the sump pump just quit.} And then I looked at my calendar and remembered that I had signed up (weeeeeeeks ago) to deliver Meals on Wheels today (good thing I have 3 great helpers home with me!). And I'm getting a cold. And I haven't had a cold in three years and now I'm just plain old mad. {cough, sneeze}
And I'm just tired. Tired. The gloomy skies and the drizzly rain just seem to echo our society and my feelings for today. But in the midst of it all, there is good because God is omnipresent. He is always near, and His goodness radiates through those who love. My friends have brought us dinner and cookies and peanut butter M&M's and had coffee with me. My mom is coming to help me with whatever I need help with this afternoon. My husband gave it a "good ol' college try" at washing my hair for me, which was better than my one handed attempt. My hair stylist friend offered to wash my hair EVERY DAY for me and all she asks is that I give back to my church. My uncle offered to drop what he was doing to come over and help with the water in the basement. Jeremiah's good friend (who is roughly the same size as him) randomly gave him two pairs of super nice jeans and he has no idea how long I have been procrastinating in shopping for new jeans for him!
And so through all the heart ache of lives lost and the complete devastation that was caused, I look to the Heavens. I look to see where our help comes from. My help comes from the Lord, Maker of Heaven and Earth. He has {lovingly} given us free will and His heart breaks a billion times more than mine when He sees His creation turning to such evil. I will turn my eyes to Him. I will love all the more. I smiled bigger to the Meals on Wheels recipients today and lingered a bit longer to see how they were. I will treasure each moment with my T&T Awana girls tomorrow, while encouraging and helping to bind us as a team.
I will turn my eyes to Him. I will love more.
Tuesday, October 3, 2017
Wednesday, June 28, 2017
Today I Want to Cry
Today I want to cry. Today I want to melt down and bawl. But not for the reasons you might think.
Today I want to cry out of sheer GRATEFULNESS and thanks to God.
Over the past 3 1/2 weeks I have been the busiest I've ever been in my life in that particular span of time. And it has been gooooooood. Seriously, SO. GOOD. #becauseGod
The week before VBS, we worked, and decorated, and prepared, and prayed, and laughed, and we finished EARLY! It makes me want to cry. #becauseGod
The week of VBS was smooth, and beautiful, and fun, and tiring, and challenging, and filling, glorifying, and serving, and joyful, and our generous kids surpassed our goal for our mission project, bringing in over $5100 for approximately 500 Awana clubs to be started in Ethiopia. 500 clubs where kids can come, be safe, be loved, have fun, BE KIDS, and hear that the GOD OF THE UNIVERSE LOVES THEM AND WANTS A RELATIONSHIP WITH THEM. Wow! What we do at VBS at Buffalo Covenant goes so far beyond Buffalo. It makes me want to cry. #becauseGod
The Middle School Mission Trip was my first dive into Youth Ministry at BCC. And OH what a blast that dive was! I cannot say enough good things about the week that I got to spend with 3 other incredible leaders and 16 amazing middle schoolers. The way that God grew us, challenged us, stretched us, loved us, opened our eyes, answered our prayers, held us in His hands, brought us close, gave us laughter and more laughter and more laughter was intense. Our middle schoolers learned to seek Him, depend on Him, work together, serve selflessly (even when we don't understand WHY we are doing WHAT we are doing), WORK HARD AND PLAY HARD. And I got home and I missed my 11, 12, & 13 year old people so much. It makes me want to cry. #becauseGod
And finally, the Awana T&T Book Completers Campout- two days to end my 3 filled weeks. WHAT. A. HOOT! We had a record number of kids on the Campout with 34, 3rd, 4th, and 5th graders. We were generously welcomed at the Lingo Ranch as we brought in our 34 kids and multiple leaders (who devoted SO much time to serving and helping with those 2 fun-filled days!). We ran those kids ragged! We swam a lot. We played "Captain's Coming" a lot. We ate a lot. We hiked a lot. We played 4 square a lot. We prayed and did devotions a lot. We worked together a lot. We finished our two days with ONLY a pair of socks and a can of sunscreen in the lost & found. ;-) And our leaders were unbelievable! It makes me want to cry. #becauseGod
And today... Today I rest. Today I'm still in my jammies at 1:15. Today I ate Lucky Charms for lunch. Today I watched tv with my kids. Today I snuggled them. Today I stopped and looked at them in the eye and listened intently to what they were saying to me. Today I'm enjoying the rainy, cloudy day. Today I'm watching Isaiah, with an old school cell phone, listen to songs like, "Ring of Fire" (singing along to ALL the words! Ha!), "Whomp! There it is!" (But saying, "Whomp! Mayonnaise!"), the Olympic Theme song, the "Friends" theme song, and "Mr. Jones and Me" while dancing outside in the driveway. Today I wait for Jeremiah to get home so we can just sit and talk for the evening. Today I texted our small group to say that "Yes! We will be at the bonfire on Friday night and I can't wait to be with all my adult people!" And I sit in awe of how God has BLESSED me through these packed weeks. How He has given me energy (and LOTS of coffee!) to enjoy this time, not just endure it. How He has put people around me who are being the hands and feet of Christ to the world. How He is revealing Himself to me in new ways. How He has give me so much to be grateful for. It makes me want to cry. #becauseGod
Today I want to cry out of sheer GRATEFULNESS and thanks to God.
Over the past 3 1/2 weeks I have been the busiest I've ever been in my life in that particular span of time. And it has been gooooooood. Seriously, SO. GOOD. #becauseGod
The week before VBS, we worked, and decorated, and prepared, and prayed, and laughed, and we finished EARLY! It makes me want to cry. #becauseGod
The week of VBS was smooth, and beautiful, and fun, and tiring, and challenging, and filling, glorifying, and serving, and joyful, and our generous kids surpassed our goal for our mission project, bringing in over $5100 for approximately 500 Awana clubs to be started in Ethiopia. 500 clubs where kids can come, be safe, be loved, have fun, BE KIDS, and hear that the GOD OF THE UNIVERSE LOVES THEM AND WANTS A RELATIONSHIP WITH THEM. Wow! What we do at VBS at Buffalo Covenant goes so far beyond Buffalo. It makes me want to cry. #becauseGod
The Middle School Mission Trip was my first dive into Youth Ministry at BCC. And OH what a blast that dive was! I cannot say enough good things about the week that I got to spend with 3 other incredible leaders and 16 amazing middle schoolers. The way that God grew us, challenged us, stretched us, loved us, opened our eyes, answered our prayers, held us in His hands, brought us close, gave us laughter and more laughter and more laughter was intense. Our middle schoolers learned to seek Him, depend on Him, work together, serve selflessly (even when we don't understand WHY we are doing WHAT we are doing), WORK HARD AND PLAY HARD. And I got home and I missed my 11, 12, & 13 year old people so much. It makes me want to cry. #becauseGod
And finally, the Awana T&T Book Completers Campout- two days to end my 3 filled weeks. WHAT. A. HOOT! We had a record number of kids on the Campout with 34, 3rd, 4th, and 5th graders. We were generously welcomed at the Lingo Ranch as we brought in our 34 kids and multiple leaders (who devoted SO much time to serving and helping with those 2 fun-filled days!). We ran those kids ragged! We swam a lot. We played "Captain's Coming" a lot. We ate a lot. We hiked a lot. We played 4 square a lot. We prayed and did devotions a lot. We worked together a lot. We finished our two days with ONLY a pair of socks and a can of sunscreen in the lost & found. ;-) And our leaders were unbelievable! It makes me want to cry. #becauseGod
And today... Today I rest. Today I'm still in my jammies at 1:15. Today I ate Lucky Charms for lunch. Today I watched tv with my kids. Today I snuggled them. Today I stopped and looked at them in the eye and listened intently to what they were saying to me. Today I'm enjoying the rainy, cloudy day. Today I'm watching Isaiah, with an old school cell phone, listen to songs like, "Ring of Fire" (singing along to ALL the words! Ha!), "Whomp! There it is!" (But saying, "Whomp! Mayonnaise!"), the Olympic Theme song, the "Friends" theme song, and "Mr. Jones and Me" while dancing outside in the driveway. Today I wait for Jeremiah to get home so we can just sit and talk for the evening. Today I texted our small group to say that "Yes! We will be at the bonfire on Friday night and I can't wait to be with all my adult people!" And I sit in awe of how God has BLESSED me through these packed weeks. How He has given me energy (and LOTS of coffee!) to enjoy this time, not just endure it. How He has put people around me who are being the hands and feet of Christ to the world. How He is revealing Himself to me in new ways. How He has give me so much to be grateful for. It makes me want to cry. #becauseGod
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