thoughts from a thursday

Lately lots of people have been asking me the question, "How are you?"  Don't get me wrong, it's not like this is an odd question, people ask it all the time and I don't think much about it.  But lately, before I answer, I've really been thinking about how I answer. 

I can honestly say that right now life is good in my own little bubble.  I hesistate to say that because I feel like as soon as I say that life is good and calm and normal, all H.E.Double Hockey Sticks is going to break loose.

But really, it's good.  It's normal.  It's drama-less.  That makes for a Happy NeeNee. 

This morning it was snowing here in the Buff (my affectionate name for Buffalo- teehee).  I grabbed my warm cup of chai in a mug made specially for me by a dear friend, went into one of the nursery rooms at church/work, pulled up a chair made for a mini person and looked out at the field.  It was so many things... Cold yet beautiful, blowing snow yet so still, baren trees yet an earth full of life.  I was warm and safe and talking with my Lord thanking Him for the peace in me and in our home, because all around us there are things falling apart.  Things from a really small scale to a really big scale.  

There are always things falling apart somewhere- that's the nature of our fallenness. It's not how God designed it or wanted it, but it's what humanity chose and we've made our bed so now we lay in it.  I believe He does all he can to lessen the blow of our stupid choices and the selfishness we have (which is really the root of pretty much any ickiness in life).  He's a GOOD GOD and He's just and loving and caring and a Father and wants us.  He wants US!  Even when we are morons, He still wants us.  How cool is that?  He still pursues us after every single time we wander away.  And then we try our darndest to try harder, to be better, to love Him and to love others more, to show grace and mercy and compassion.  And He's there every step of the way, encouraging us and cheering us on! 

So as I sat and looked out the window, I prayed.  I thanked Him for what I have and prayed for those who need more Jesus right now.  Prayed for situations of friends who need to let go of things that are not healthy or to be.  Prayed for friends who are seeking His plan for their lives and haven't been able to clearly see it yet.  Prayed for friends who are broken.  Prayed for friends who are trying to be strong for others.  Prayed against sadness.  Prayed against loneliness.  Prayed against angst.  Prayed for guidance.  Prayed for His peace to come down on those who seek it.

I'm blessed today.  I'm blessed every day.  To have life here on this earth and forevermore.

I love Fall.  I love the start of snuggle season.  I love the word "cozy" it makes me want to giggle!  I love the smell of autumn candles burning.  I love a warm cup of coffee or chai.  I love to sit and look out the window at the winter to come.  It's our chance and season to slow. 

Praying that you will be able to slow down this season and enjoy what God has given you.  Take a moment to thank Him for it.  To listen to His voice telling you, "I love you.  I care for you.  I want you. You are treasured."

      

No! Where is the umbrella?

Some of us know that men are not all stellar communicators.  This was proven in our house the other day when I overheard this conversation between Jeremiah and Isaiah.  I could NOT stand it and had to interject. 

Isaiah: "Dad, where is the umbrella?"  (speaking about the big umbrella that goes over our patio table)
Jeremiah: "It broke."
Isaiah: "Where is the umbrella?'
Jeremiah: "It broke."
Isaiah: "NO!  Where IIIIISSSS the umbrella?"
Jeremiah: "I don't think you understand what I'm saying.  It's broken." 
Me: "No, honey, I don't think YOU understand what HE'S asking.  He said WHERE is the umbrella.  Not what happened to it.  Please tell him it's in the fire pit for us to burn since it broke." 
Jeremiah: "It's in the fire pit so we can burn it because it broke in the storm the other night."
Isaiah: "Ok."  (walks away, content)

Whew.  That was painful. 

Pulled.

Pulled. I feel pulled in multiple emotional directions right now. I've had a lot of things on my mind to blog about, but everytime I start one, my mind drifts to something else that I want to blog about. So bear with me if this post seems reeeeeeally random, because... well... it probably will be.

- Today there is a funeral here at church. A young man whose father is VERY involved at our church passed away last week, suddenly. I'm not sure on the details, don't need to be, but it is very heart wrenching. I walked by the Worship Center a bit ago and saw the casket with the young gentleman there, with his dad sitting by him, holding his hand. My heart ACHED. I cannot imagine losing a child, at ANY age. My prayers are with the family at this time, for peace, comfort, and feeling the presence of the Lord.

-This past weekend we were able to go down to Stewartville where Jeremiah's brother, sister-in-law and our nieces live. We got to go down to celebrate Hannah and Emily making the choice to be baptized. What a JOYOUS day that was! Ironically (considering the last paragraph), their church is called New Life Church. It was a beautiful morning full of new life in Jesus, celebrated by 4 beautiful, Jesus-loving gals. I cried through the entire service. It was small and intimate and lovely and spirit-filled and overwhelming and blessed. I love our church home and our church family, but it was incredible to be in a small congregation (that was mostly our relative family), worshiping with them. To celebrate the decision that our nieces made to follow Jesus all of their days and to commit that before friends and family made my heart burst with joy.

-The arm. Aphia's arm. Oy. Long story. Broken arm, health insurance not kicked in until June 1st. Still making the choice to choose quality care for her and feeling good about that decision. Praising God for a "minor" break (if a break can be minor) and for a WATERROOF cast. Man, even though it costs more it is SO worth it to get a waterproof cast for a kid. I cannot stress that enough. Knowing that God always provides manna for us, daily bread. Just what we need for today, no more, no less. Praying about being content with that and feeling loved that we are so very cared for by Him.

-Misophonia. Miso coming from the greek "to hate" and phonia coming from the greek "sound"- literally translates to "hatred of sounds." I am diagnosable ;) I'm not just nuts. I saw a segment about this on the show 20/20 last Friday night. I called my mom immediately and told her to watch. She and I agreed whole-heartedly that this describes me, to a degree.
This is what Wikipedia had to say about it:
Symptoms: People who have misophonia are most commonly annoyed, or even enraged, by such ordinary sounds as other people eating, breathing, or coughing; certain consonants; or repetitive sounds. People with misophonia may be diagnosed with mood or anxiety disorders as well as obsessive-compulsive disorder. Though a few sufferers are bothered by sounds they make themselves, most are not. The reactions are completely involuntary. People who have misophonia may also be annoyed by other people's repetitive movements, such as leg-tapping, nail-biting, the rising and falling of the belly, and typing. Sensitivity to these sounds tends to be exacerbated by stress, hunger, or fatigue. The onset of the symptoms appears to have a characteristic pattern, often in childhood just prior to or during puberty. Often there is a single initial trigger (such as a parent's or sibling's noises), after which the triggers expand over time to include both auditory or visual elements. It is speculated that there is a genetic basis for this disorder as the etiological data supports a similar pattern of emergence, but this remains to be determined.
Coping Methods & Treatment: People with misophonia use various coping methods. Most will simply avoid the offending sound by leaving the area altogether, while some will try to block it with earplugs or music. Intense anxiety and avoidant behavior may develop. Some people may feel the compulsion to mimic what they hear. In more extreme cases, sufferers will not socialise for fear of hearing the sounds. It is important to note that sensitivity to the offending sounds is often far more severe when the origin of the sound comes from a person emotionally connected to the sufferer.

Now, I wouldn't say I'm an extreme case of this, but I'm a case that's for sure! It completely explains the fact that I completely failed a Social Studies test in 9th grade because I couldn't read the questions because the girl behind me was chewing and snapping her gum. I thought my head was going to explode and it took everything in me to not turn around and slam her head into her desk. I know that sounds EXTREMELY PSYCHO a little over the top maybe, but that was my brain. I'm grateful that I never did hurt her :)

I knew and know that everyone has pet peeves. I get that. I just thought that mine were really bad and it was just my thorn to bear. And to an extent that's the truth. There's not much one can do about this. I find it interesting when it says that "some people may feel the compulsion to mimic what they hear." I TOTALLY DO THAT! If Jeremiah wants to eat chips while we're watching a movie, it's all good. All I have to do is eat a chip at the exact same time as him, then my own crunching drowns out his and I'm good. I may be completely focused on him and not the movie, but oh well. If someone is chewing gum, all I have to do is pop a piece in my mouth and chew it louder (and I may, just may, chew it really obnoxiously because I'm so annoyed). If someone is tapping their foot, I just tap mine bigger and louder for a few seconds and then I feel better! It's like I just had to "get that out."

I don't feel quite so bad that I literally wanted to punch my brothers in the face all the time, when I was a teenager. It's a medical condition you know. ;) Ok for real. I'm not going to use that as a crutch or anything. It just helps me to recognize that I'm not competely alone, psycho, violent, and that I'm an island of crazy weirdoness.

-D.R. We've been doing the Dave Ramsey, Finanical Peace University class at church for the past 13 weeks. It's amazing. We "graduated" last night. I highly recommend it to anyone at any stage of life, but especially to anyone who is post-high school or newly engaged/married. I feel like it's stuff we all "know" but it gives you the solid, practical tools to put into place in attaining complete financial peace. Do Jeremiah and I have that yet? Not completely, but we will. Of that I'm certain. It's not a sprint, it's a marathon. And it's probably one of the only ones I'll run (besides marriage and parenting) that I'll run in my life.

-Garage Sale. I'm having a garage sale with three amazing friends this week. That's a whole lot of work. But hey, it comes at just the right time, when we're about to receive a bill from a certain little girls bright pink cast! Daily bread... He always provides and I love that.

-VBS. It's coming! I love it! I'm overjoyed to be in the position I am and be able to direct a week of pre-school Vacation Bible School! Jeremiah is taking the week off from work again to teach. This year I'm much more prepared than last year and I'm looking forward to being able to spend our afternoons and evenings together as a family on our VBS Staycation.

-My parents. For 13 weeks, they've been attending the Dave Ramsey class with us. For 13 weeks they have come out to our house before class to spend time with me and the kiddos and they always bring us dinner. Have I ever told you how good of a cook my dad is? Well HE IS. What a blessing having time with them each week has been. W.O.W. I'm so grateful for my relationship with them and the love they give to my kids and to me! I'm one fortunate daughter!!

-Babies! I'm so excited for all the babies that are going to be born in the next few months. I get to be a new auntie to my brother and sister-in-law!! But I'm also in thought over friends that have struggled to be mommies and have lost babies along the way. It's a pulled kind of feeling in my heart and head.

And I think that's about all for now. I think I got a lot of it out there. Those are my ramblings for today. I'll leave you with a special benediction: "May the Lord lift up your life!" to which you respond with, "And up yours also!" Bwaaa Ha Ha!!! Peace out.

First, Second, Third, Raspberry Turd

My name is Janine and I am a stereotype. They're all there for a reason (stereotypes) and I am one of them. People always say, and believe me I was probably the LOUDEST of them all, that the younger kids in families always get off so easy. Life is peaches and cream for them. Life is so unfair for the oldest and the youngests just slide by, getting everything and getting away with everything. "They" say that parents are tired, which is true to an extent, but I do find that when it matters I still discipline my youngest when he needs to be. I might just find that it's not quite as often as the other two needed it. Shhhh.

Well it's true. It's true in our family as it's true in most. The third, the youngest, gets away with everything! Why? Because we cotton-pickin' laugh at everything he does because he has learned SO much more at a MUCH earlier age than the other two ever did.

What do we laugh at? We laugh at our two year old saying, "Daddy, I kicked da monster in da nuts!" We laugh when he says to his older brother, "Come on you Doink!" Or when he says, "Mommy, put my shoes in da dishwasher cuz I peed in dem." Or when he says to me, "Mommy I will have a brownie," to which I reply, "No, no more brownies for you," and the next thing I know he has climbed up and is sitting on the counter eating the brownies straight from the pan. Or when he says, "3...2...1... Bus Stop!!!" (instead of 321 blast off- get it?) Or when he says, "Mommy you have a penis?" Or when I asked him where my friend's baby was and he said, "In da uterus." I laugh when he quotes movies like "Dennis the Menace" and walks around randomly saying, "She's ugly! She's ugly! She doesn't share!" Or finally when I hear him say (with my back to him) "Oh Mommy, that's tasty," and I turn around to see him scooping straight-up sugar from the bowl and eating it.

I shake my head because #1 would have never done or said these things. I laugh because that's what stereotypical Mothers of third borns do- they laugh. That's why the baby is always the comedian. That's why the baby always gets away with stuff. And here I am, admitting my faults to the world, because that's what I do.

I ain't perfect and never claimed to be. I am forever changing. I am forever learning. I am forever eating humble pie. But truth be told- it's my favorite kind of pie to eat if I get to eat it while laughing my way through life with my family!

San Diego 2012

Woot!

We're back from a great little vacay to San Diego. Jeremiah's little sis got married to a great guy and we headed out there to share in the celebration!

Becca and Ryan were (are) a beautiful couple and I'm so grateful to have been able to share in the beautiful day! I was blessed to be able to take much of the wedding photos and here's a sneak peek.

We started the day off with a brunch at 10:00 a.m. with immediate family and several close friends. We were able to share, toast or roast the happy couple. Most people shared a word or two... or lots more! It was really fun, funny, touching, emotional to listen to waht the people who mean the most to Becca and Ryan had to say.

Here are Becca and Ryan when they first saw each other at the pre-wedding brunch.

Listening to some warm words from a loved one to the almost-newlyweds.

Watching her Mama get into her beautiful dress and ready for the wedding!

And here she is!

Addi and Becca- two gorgeous ladies!

Introducing the Man of the Hour!

Mr. & Mrs. Erickson

Bex and her bros

Becca with "Candy" and "Princess"

Pictures by the harbor

Like I said, the wedding was gorgeous! What a delightful, joyful, cheerful day full of happiness. It was a day that I believe was truly smiled upon by God!

The next two days we got to relax and enjoy some sunny weather- aaaahhhhh....

We layed by the pool, read, napped, sat in the hot tub, ate leftovers from the pre-wedding brunch (my favorite leftovers in the world... crab legs, jumbo shrimp, smoked salmon... mmmm....), went down to Mission Beach and walked along the surf and out onto the pier, went up to La Jolla for dinner and a movie. Our time together was SO nice. But it was really nice to get back home to the kiddos. 5 days away from them is really my limit. What a blessing the entire 5 days was though. Every so often, I would look around and just revel in my thankful and gratefulness to the Lord. I cannot be thankful enough for times like this, with amazing family, beautiful accomodations, blissful weather, and time alone with my man!

Like I said to them tonight, Thanks to Becca and Ryan for getting married so we could go to San Diego for a wedding and a vacation! :)

Back from Copper!

Tuesday January 10, 2012- 50 degrees? Yes, please! I loveloveloved winter before I became a mom. When I had to bundle everyone up, dreaded going into and out of stores, and had snow dragged into my house everytime the door opened, my love for winter came to a screeching halt. This winter? I'm diggin' this winter. I could handle this!

Anywho! We're back from Colorado where we spent a week with JJ's family, skiing, relaxing, eating, hot tubbing, watching movies, reading and visiting together.

A few things I learned on our trip and then the pictures!
1. I really enjoy driving in the quiet and dark of the night or very early morning. I especially like when I can set my cruise at 75 mph, drive super straight and flat through Nebraska and not turn the cruise off for over 2.5 hours. Me likey.
2. I like curves that go to the right as opposed to curves that go to the left.
3. I like when people turn off their highbeams when they are approaching me.
4. I feel bad that I often forget to do the latter. (What can I say? I grew up in the suburbs! We didn't use our brights on highways... only on neighborhood streets)
5. I do not like straight line winds and sleet while driving through Nebraska.
6. I like powdery ski hills, not ones that don't have much snow, have rocks showing, and are icy.
7. I LOVE sitting in the hot tub overlooking mountains and beautiful little villages below.
8. Being willing to "Tebow" in the hot tub for another group that was doing a scavanger hunt will earn you a bottle of wine.
9. My eldest son is very sweetly sensitive. When his cousins were complaining about him coughing in the night he left the room and went and slept under the stairs with only his pillow and nigh-night (blankie).
10. My daughter is occasionally more concerned about if she looks cute on the hill as opposed to how she'll do on the hill.
11. My son rarely lacks for confidence. He told me this on the 4th day of skiing, "Mom, this vacation is going so fast! Just like 10 seconds ago, I didn't know how to ski. And now... I'm a GREAT skiier!"
12. I love my family and the blessings that they are to me!!

Here we all are in the living room of the house we stayed in on Copper Mountain.

The view from our deck.
We ate like kings! This meal brought to us by Ryan and Becca

My father-in-law and his "out-laws!"

The skiing cousins!

The two littlest cousins stayed back home.

Not ready for the slopes just yet.

Our skiing family

The littlest Kruger Boy at home with Grama and Grampa

I wanted to get a nice picture of the two children... I got these pictures instead.

And finally this one :)

Heading up the hill with my little man

Daddy and Beeba ready to head down the hill

The four of us on a beautiful, sunny day on Copper Mt!

And there you have it folks! It was a fun, busy, relaxing, amazing vacation. We are so grateful to have been able to go on such a trip! There were several times when I would look at the beauty that was all around me and seriously say to myself, "Wow... This is my life?! Really!? Wow. Just wow. Thank you Lord! Thank you."

Was Jack Adopted?

I recently had a conversation with Jonah that I was completely unprepared for. I wasn't ready to talk about this and thankfully... I didn't have to.

Jonah's best friend, since he was 18 months old, is Jack. Jonah and Jack play together beautifully and work together really well also. One time Jonah told me that when they each want to play something different at recess (since they ALWAYS play with each other at recess) they each get to pick one thing they like that the other wants to play and then they combine the two ideas and play that. For two first graders? Brilliant. See what I said they are BEST BUDS.

So the other day when Jonah asked me if Jack was adopted, I wasn't prepared for the conversation. It went something like this:

Jonah: Mom, was Jack adopted?

Me: No.

Jonah: I think he was.

Me: No, Jonah, he wasn't. Why do you think that?

Jonah: Because Jack has brown eyes.

Me: Yes, I know. So do Megan and Jonas. (Jack's older sister and younger brother)

Jonah: So then they were all adopted because they all have brown eyes.

Me: No, Jonah. They weren't. Jeremy (their dad) has brown eyes.

Jonah: I know, but Becky (their mom) doesn't. She has blue eyes and you can't have a kid with brown eyes if you have blue eyes.

Me: Yes, you can if one of the parents has brown eyes.

Jonah: Yeah, but it has to be the mom because the baby comes from the mom. What does the dad have to do with it? Why does it matter if the dad has brown eyes?

Me, in my head, thinking: Oh crap, I didn't know that this conversation was going that direction. Not prepared! Not prepared! Retreat! Retreat! Not going to talk about the facts-of-life yet with my seven year old!!!

I decided to meet him where he was at, at this point. He's very black & white, analytical, methodical, and really loves to learn things.

So I talked about genetics. I said, "Well when God puts a baby in a mommy's tummy He takes the genetics, which are the characteristics each person has, like eye color, skin color, height, face shape, stuff like that, from both the mommy and the daddy and blends them all together and combines them in the baby. That's why you look so much like daddy!"

That was a satisfactory answer to him- THANK GOD!

I'm still looking back at it and how caught-off-guard I was. I was just NOT seeing the curve in that road we were traveling down. But, thankfully, crisis averted!

Now, don't get me wrong- Youth Director by trade- I will be talking to my children about sex and all that jazz very openly and honestly, just as I did with my youth group kids. I was very open about it all with my younger siblings too. I was honest, but held my standards high. I will do the same for my children. WHEN. THE. TIME. IS. RIGHT. And that time was not last week. Whew.